Caregiver Meditations: Love and Hug What You Have Today


What a difference in two landscapes!  The same place separated by six months. As I sit here on a very cold morning, I am reminded that what we see today will disappear in a few weeks and the landscape will begin its annual metamorphosis. What is now covered deeply in frozen snow, will begin sprouting plants and sprigs and leaves will reappear on trees. The frozen lake will begin to move, escaping from its frozen state. Waves will lap upon the rocks and ducks will regain their wading lake. Colors will appear. Where there has been a deafening silence there will be the laughs and play sounds of children adding to the sweet sounds of spring’s first days.

But do I spend time pining for the wonders of spring, counting the days until it arrives or, while I still have it, do I enjoy the frozen lake, the soon vanishing silence, build a fire, protect my feet with snowshoes and enjoy what will soon disappear? Sometimes choices are difficult to make.

As a caregiver, sometimes life may seem frozen like winter. The person needing care may not show appreciation of the time and love you spend in caring for them. The relationship that you shared with your mother and father is hard to duplicate. Now it seems like more of a job and is without the former Mommy and Daughter (or Daddy and Daughter) connection. I have been there.  The life complications for a caregiver can persist depending on the dynamics of your family and the ailments that your loved one experiences.

What you have now is a gift. It may seem like my frozen lake sometimes. I cannot will the lake to melt and the warm weather to heat it but I know it will occur. I need to experience winter and life as they are today. Some of life’s best moments come in winter. Don’t stay inside and ache for the spring that still seems far from arriving. Celebrate today, perhaps with some pain, sadness, and tiredness. When spring comes you may mourn for the winter.

Love and hug what you have today because tomorrow will be different.

–Joy Meason Intriago, President & Founder,